Deep Meditation Happens

I have made an exciting new “Thought to Text™” technological breakthrough that has enabled me to record my actual thoughts and non-thoughts. Today I unveil to the world for the first time a transcript of one of my deep meditation sessions.

[CAUTION: This Thought to Text™ transcript is uncensored. If you are squeamish about the human condition, please click away now.]

START : Thought to Text™ TRANSMISSION:

OK, here I am meditating. I’m so pumped up for this session!!!1! I just know I’m gonna break on through to the other side this time. I got a feeling enlightenment is going to be cool, enlightened dudes get all the hot babes. I know somehow, someway this meditation is going to lead to more money for me. Everybody in abundance-land doesn’t care about money because I know they have a hidden stash somewhere. There is probably a secret enlightened ATM cash machine with lots of clouds around it and a rainbow over the top of it. I can’t wait until a wise old voice sends me my PIN number in the mail.

<space between thoughts>

Oh shit, I better focus on my breath. Hmm, perhaps too many onions in that tuna fish and baloney sandwich. My stomach seems to have an issue with it as well. I need to become one with the acid reflux. Ahhh, the warm breeze of a giant burp gently caressing my nostrils. From the bottom of my heart I’m glad that was not a fart. LOL, I should use that in a blog post someday.

<awkward space between thoughts>

My butt is starting to go numb; this meditation is obviously starting to kick in. I’m letting go of my attachment to my ass.  I can’t wait to tell those jerks at work how enlightened I am. Who the hell are they to tell me I need to increase my meds?! And if it wasn’t for my shitty childhood, I wouldn’t need the medications in the first place!

OK, back to the present-FREAKIN’-moment. Whoa, my feet are turning purple now. I’m cultivating awareness, and different colors!  I wonder if this is the part where I should try to block out my constant thoughts of worry, fear, disappointment and anxiety. I feel a panic attack coming on at the very thought of letting that much go all at once. Now that last thought I just thought is making me feel guilty and ashamed. This meditation is turning into a mental mindscrew.

Get a grip, man. You are too far into this to back out now. Make friends with your panic attack; maybe give it a name like, Fred. OK. Hi Fred, my mom said I can’t come out to play right now. When I get done meditating we can go throw rocks at cars or whatever, call me.

< inner healing process between thoughts>

Oh dear, I think I feel like fondling myself. This is not the right time to show loving kindness and compassion to myself. I must fight the urge! I need to just think about Oprah over and over for a few minutes; bikini Oprah, naked Oprah, Oprah on top…

<terrifying space between thoughts>

…whew, close call. This spiritual work isn’t easy, and quite frankly it is getting a little tiresome. This is so going to become a nap when this meditation session is finally over.

<empty space between thoughts>

Holy crap! I think I’m not thinking. I wonder if thinking that counts as a thought? Ah hell, I probably just lost 50 karma points for thinking that. I’m gonna have to do the dishes tonight to cover for that.

<now transcending the concept of clarity itself, the Gap!>

What in the HELL is that loud banging noise!?1

END : Thought to Text™ TRANSMISSION:
...

Learn more about meditation:


Evelyn Lim  -  Five Hindrances to a Successful Meditation
(hint: MoMo went 5 for 5)
Also see  -  Experiencing the Gap: The Space Between Thoughts


John Rocheleau - Little Buddha Walking

Also See: Mary Jaksch's - How to Start Meditating: 10 Important Tips


Now a special message from Oprah:

“Hi everybody! I finally talked MonkMojo into appearing on my show! (On the condition that I don’t sit too close to him.) Mark August 17th on your calendar, check local listings for times. Everyone in the studio audience will receive a MonkMojo Tshirt @ 10% off!”

This post is dedicated to George Carlin

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Meet the Pain Bodies

Eckhart Tolle explains the role of our pain body and how it works with our ego in his book, A New Earth.

Learn more about the "Pain Body" from these bloggers:
Shannon Tancock - Visiting “Sufferland”….the Park Your Ego and Pain-Body Love to Stay and Play at.

Dean Ozen -  Introducing the Painbody: Getting Past Emotions (Part 1) and (Part II)

The Transition Phase to Becoming Poor

This article is designed for the newly poor and for people that are about to become one of the newly poor. This article is not about being frugal or personal financial management strategy. This is a “Shit just hit the fan, now what?” guide. The message presented here is brief and simple. It is nonspecific so anybody can apply the ideas to their unique set of circumstances.

Emotional Detachment is Your Friend
Regardless of how foreign the concept of being poor is to you, you need to accept this fact now. It does not matter how or why you lost a main source of income or whether it’s fair or unfair etc… Going from riches to rags happens brutally fast. Many events are about to take place, and your goal is to be in the driver’s seat as much as possible. This is the kind of ride you buckle up for. You need to be mentally present and emotionally checked out.

The sudden transition to being poor is filled with a broad range of overwhelmingly negative emotions.  Certainly a life without emotions would be dull, but during this critical transition they will only lead to dreadful decision making. Although it may be impossible to turn off your negative emotions, you can become better aware of them and the influence they are having on your decision making.

To gain perspective on these awful emotions it helps to view the negative emotion producing part of your brain as the “Wacky-Fuckup Machine”.  Its sole function is to make you do wacky fuckups. Monitor the WFM vigilantly throughout the becoming poor process.  As you make important decisions during the transition to becoming poor, simply ask yourself “Is this decision coming from the WFM?”

Compound Greif
Wacky fuckups are a natural part of life and are normally educational, but in this merciless environment they will quickly compound your grief. Compound grief is amazing like compound interest, but it happens much faster and it sucks.

Recreational alcohol and drug use should kept to a minimum right now (go easy on the prescription pharmaceuticals too). These substances can activate and serve as fuel for the WFM. You just can’t afford a wacky fuckup right now. The best way to cope with the stress and depression of becoming poor is to focus on the next action you need to take in the transition.

Friends, Family and Expectations
The WFM has idealistic expectations for friends and family. Unfortunately the fact is newly poor people are a bummer to be around; they are stressed, depressed and ask for money. Don’t expect friends and family to line up for that. Many people are just terrified they will accidently offer you assistance that they’ll regret later. Again, emotional detachment is important here.


Physical Possession Attachments:
The WFM places an unrealistic value on physical possessions. You need to detach your emotions from your stuff. This will allow the rest of your brain to turn your stuff into the most cash possible. The sooner you sell all of your stuff that does not contribute to your priorities such as food and shelter, the better. Keep in mind, the more desperate you become for cash the less cash you will receive for your stuff.

Your house and car(s) will pose significant challenges. When contemplating when it’s time to walk away from those things, be mindful that the more money you sink into these dead ends the less money you’ll have to do the important things, like eating.

Good Luck
I sincerely hope your Wacky-Fuckup Machine does not compound your grief. Take it from this relatively contented poor person that you can do it too!

Here is some related reading that may help out:

From the Persistent Illusion blog  -  How To Be Homeless

Naomi Dunford - Starting a Home Business? The One Piece of Advice You Can’t Ignore
Be sure to check out Naomi's new SEO School E Book – How to Become an SEO Ninja

Tom Volkar - Make Your Move to the Freedom of Self-Employment

Related Comic
Debt Snowball vs Debt Bazooka